Resisting Temptation

Had a gathering yesterday with friends at a hip restaurant somewhere in town. The place served western food and of course not forgetting the wide variety of desserts.

While my friend are still deciding what to order for dinner, I am busy myself. What am I busy with? Testing my blood at the table. Mentioned before that I do all these tests and injection in the toilet. But this time round, I did my test not in the toilet but at the dining table. Of course, still did not do it openly, I hide my meters under the table. Well, at least, that is the very first step for me to do this outside toilet and its in a hip eating place.

My pre-meal reading was high: 15.7 mmol. Guess it's the piece of wafer I took before I left the office. Later on, I inject myself with additional 3 more units of insulin.

These are what we ordered the following for dinner:

Seabass with coconut coating and sweet potato paste

Beetroot soup (drank only a sip. they said very sweet!)

Chicken pasta (My favourite among the rest. That's also where I get my carbo. Cannot leave without it )

Sticky prawns is our starter

With my super high pre-meal readings, I eat everything in moderation. I finished up the late of chicken pasta. :)

After dinner, they wanted desserts. All desserts they have in the menu looks yummy and feels like sinking my teeth into them. Sigh! Well, I can only "admire" them from a distance. So sad. Look at the desserts they ordered:

Not sure what is this. Looks like carrot cake with ice cream. Does not look really appealing to me :)

This is mango pudding. Heard its real sweet

This is the one that I want to try. There's ice cream stuffed inside and with chocolate coated over it. Looks super yummy **slurp**

Good to see but not for my stomach. Over the years, I have mentally trained myself to resist any temptations of sweet stuffs like: ice cream, desserts and cakes (my favourite blueberry cakes). So, when I have hypo, I will hunt down places with my favourites. When people see me eating these, do not be surprised. It's because I need them!

When I reached home and tested my glucose level, it's 4.6 mmol.

Bittergourd Tea Good For Us?

Many years before, someone told me that bittergourd tea is good for diabetic patients. It will help control the sugar level. Went to buy a box in the supermarket and have been drinking it since. Not a regular drinker of this beverage but I do believe it does have some effects on sugar level control. No harm trying it.

New Friends Made

Today I met up with 2 new friends. One of them actually has the same condition as I am but he already lived with it for 13 years!
He was sharing with me how he manages his diabetes. I was very surprised but at the same time impressed with his "open-ness" to this condition. He told me he tests his sugar and even give himself injection in public! That is something which I really cannot make myself do it. I will usually hide myself in the toilet to inject. If the toilet is yucky, I have to endure it. This is something which I must learn from him but that will take a long time and lots of courage for me.
The reason why we met today is because of his dream. Another thing that impressed me is his dream and passion to create the public awareness of diabetes. He already have plans and I am there to support him with his plans, hopefully can contribute some ideas.
Also to mention, his friend whom I met today as well. He is also supportive of his dream (though he is not diabetic) and is helping him out to make his dream come true. What a true friend indeed. ^_^

When is the real hypo?

My symptom of knowing when hypo kicks in is when I can feel that my heart beats faster and I am short of breathe when that happens. My vision will be slightly blurred and I feel weak. If hypo happens in the middle of the night, I will usually will have cold sweat even if I am sleeping in air-conditioned room. These are pretty obvious symtoms which I will immediately grab something sweet to eat without checking how low I am.
Few days ago, I experienced something pretty similar, but mild ones, a few hours after my meal. I have my doubts this time. Reason is, I did not inject more units of insulin and my meals are the usual. At that point of time, I really thought hypo is coming after me again! But when I am in doubt, to play safe, I better check my glucose level. After another painful poke, the meter showed me 6 mmol. Hmmmm.....that is pretty normal. Why do I have that strange feeling? Is that a sign telling me that I will have it when I am deep in my dreams again. I took the decision to eat a little bit of cheesecake which was still left in my fridge. Everything was fine and the next day reading is normal.
Today, went grocery shopping with mom after lunch. I took porridge for lunch and inject my usual amount of Humalog. Around 3 plus, I can feel it again!!! But still not very sure if this is the real or fake one. I really have the urge to buy something sweet (like ice cream) to eat. Yeah!! I can indulge in sweet stuff! But since the feeling is mild, I am just worried that this is another false alarm. Damn, no meter with me and I cannot check. Can only do it when I am back home. That is the inconvenience of not having a meter around with me. Someone must invent some small and compact meter which will not create a stir when diabetic patient is testing their blood at public places. The best is, no blood can be seen.
When I am back home (It's around 4 pm and I still can drive myself home), quickly rushed to get my blood tested. The meter showed 3 mmol! Oh, it's the real hypo! Quickly took the piece of Prima Deli pancake which I bought earlier. I know I should eat something sweet and fast reacting but I really feel like eating the pancake eventhough I know it will be slow to react to my hypo. Well, I know the pancake will not create a super high as compared to drinking coke. So, I can tell that my pre-meal readings will be safe as well. Glad to say, my pre-meal is 6 mmol when I tested.
Maybe this might not be the right way to treat my hypo. But it seems like I still know my body well. What I need is a compact and blood-less meter so that I can test in public and eat safely.

Lone Ranger No More

I have been a lone ranger supporting myself in diabetic management eversince. Actually there are support groups around but I just do not feel comfortable joining them. Maybe because I just do not want to mix around. Call me anti-social. So far, I have been managing quite well but could have been better.
Yesterday, I signed up a support group. I realised that they have organised many activities for people with the same condition as me. There are talks, activities and so on....some are pretty interesting. But I do hope they can organise more sports :)
I wanted to open myself up and join these activities. In the future, I will be lone ranger no more.

A Peek At What I Eat

Wanted to share what I eat today.

Morning
Eversince I was diagnosed diabetic, my mom has been preparing unpolished rice porridge for me. Whenever I tell my friends that I eat unpolished rice in the morning, they will give me a shock look and tell me: "It's blend and don't taste good. How can you eat it? How is it prepared?"

Well, every night, my mom will prepare the unpolished rice and put it in the slow cooker. She will include dried cuttlefish and red dates to add flavour to the porridge. In the middle of the night (when on the way to toilet), she will turn on the slow cooker and let it cook. By the time, she wakes up in the morning, she will turn off the slow cooker. And it's ready for all of us to eat as breakfast!

There are actually lots of health benefits related to unpolished rice:

1. Provides all necessary carbohydrates requirements.
2. Rich in fibers.
3. Helps control blood sugar.
4. Helps control cholesterol.
5. It is a body building food.
6. Beneficial for stomach and intestinal ulcers and for diarrhea. It is easily digested starch food.
7. Because of the mineral content, it supplies important nutrient for the hair, teeth, nails, muscles and bones.

For more read, http://www.health.food-recipe-cooking.com/brown-rice-health-benefit.htm

So can you imagine, I have been eating this "blend and tasteless" porridge for 10 years!

Pre-breakfast reading (7.10am): 6.5 mmol

When I reach office around 8.30am , my colleague bought McDonalds McMuffin. Took half of it for my tea break :) Very sinful, yes I know but I will be hungry if I do not eat anything. I know that I will have my "tea break" everyday so I normally will add 1 more unit of Humalog to my morning shot.

Reading before McMuffin gets into my stomach: 10.8 mmol

Lunch

My colleagues wanted to eat Chicken Rice so we went to our favourite Chicken Rice hunt @ Yishun Central. Yummy, ate a plate of chicken rice and of course I only eat chicken breast which is the healthiest. Other than being the healthiest, I think it is the easiest to eat cause no bones :)

Pre-lunch reading (around 12pm) : 7.2 mmol

My lunch shot is alittle different. Usually we cannot decide what we want to eat for lunch. Therefore, I am unable to know how much insulin I need. Normally I will jab myself immediately after my lunch when I am back to the office. For today, since I have taken chicken rice, I jab 1 more additional unit of Humalog because chicken rice has lots of fats which might increase my glucose level!!!

Towards 6pm, my stomach is already making lots of noise. Feel like eating the 1/4 piece of sugarless mooncake which I brought but dare not. I am afraid that it will bring my sugar level up just before my dinner which will result in me injecting even more insulin to cover for that.

Dinner

Reached home around 8pm. Today's special is homemade claypot rice. Not really made from claypot but looks like claypot rice. I always like the food that my mom prepared (except fish). Yummy!!

Pre-dinner reading: 3.9 mmol (ooppsss...almost hypo)
Post-dinner reading @ 10.30pm: 17.9!!! (what happened??!!!!!)

Oh my god! My post meal reading is soooooo high! What happened? Could it be the chilli ikan billis I took during dinner or the slices of green apples which I took earlier cause my blood glucose level to shoot up this high? Anyway, immediately I gave myself another jab to bring down my sugar level. Hopefully.....

Believing in Your Faith?

No one in my family line is diabetic. When I was diagnosed in 1998, my parents kept asking themselves why I have this illness when no one else in the family has it. Well, not only they are the ones asking. I also asked myself:"Why?". My first doctor is not able to answer that. He told me Type 1 is not genetic. It so happened that some bad cells in my body attacked my pancreas and somehow, my pancreas stopped functioning as it is supposed to. All I know is I need to make friends with needles and insulin for the rest of my life. So far, there is no medical treatment that can fully cure this disease.
My family believes in Taoism and I have been following my parents. Eversince I am a confirmed diabetic, I started to doubt my religion. Question in my mind:"I pray to GOD, issn't GOD supposed to take care of my well being? Why am I down with an incurable disease?" In the past, I do not go to church or attend any Christian gatherings but this time round, I actually volunteered follow my cousin to her church. Went cell group with my colleague, all with the hope of finding some answers from their GOD.
At that point of time, I just wanted to be rebellious and switch my faith. However, I failed because I cannot put myself to believe in any GOD.
10 years down the road, I am still where I am. This time round, I still go to temples but for the sake of my parents. At least make them feel better. Deep down in my heart, I know the answer. It all lies in ME.

Coincidentally, a few years later, my cousin (my maternal side) was also diagnosed as Type 1 diabetic patient! He has 7 siblings and he is the only unlucky one. For him, he need to inject himself twice a day (for me, its thrice a day). Heard from my mom that is also trying some other ways (other than injection) just to hoping that it will make his condition better.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Yesterday was my birthday. As mentioned in my earlier post, my mom will buy a cake which will never go into my stomach. This really happened yesterday...hahaha.... But I went to buy something that can make it into my stomach, that is, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaves Chicago Cheesecake! This time round, I am careful. Before I eat the cake, I measure myself and below are the readings:
15/9 9.15pm: 5.6 mmol
15/9 11.30pm: 6.4 mmol
16/9 7am: 8.3 mmol
Ok, seems like the reaction of insulin on the 1/2 cheesecake is slow but somewhat still acceptable to me. So, in the future, I should just take 1/2 of the cheesecake when I have the craving. :)

What Is My #1 Fear For Diabetes?

Few months ago, my friend asked me this question: What is your greatest fear for diabetes?
It's not the physcial pain of injection or blood testing. It's not the extra medical bills that I need to foot. My fear is the complications that one might have because of uncontrolled diabetes.
Many complications might happen if there is no good control of diabetes. To me, the most scary one will be kidney failure. Kidney failure patients need to go for dialysis every week and the medical bills for each dialysis is not cheap. Futuremore, it will disrupt one's work. It's complicated. Therefore, I tell myself I must make sure I eat well and make sure that I do not have hypers or so many hypos.
So coincidental, my doctor also asked me the same question when I go for my last consultation. Told her exactly how I feel.

The last consultation, my HbA1c has been average, 6.8%. 2 problems that doctor noticed:
(1) I do not record my readings -> I really do not like to record down. Don't know why. Think I need lots of discipline.
(2) I do not gain weight and I am always conservative on my food. What is conservative? That means, eat only food that I consider safe or rather, which do not increase my blood glucose level --> Not a big fan of food. The saying goes: I do not eat for the sake of food but I eat for the sake of living. So, my food consumption can be boring. Of course once in a while, I will have cravings for unhealthy food like crackers or raisin biscuits but I limit myself to these food.

When my friends are having desserts, I need to reject it. So they thought I am so health conscious and that is why I am so skinny. However, they do not know the struggle in me. How much I wanted to eat dessert with them but I cannot. I have to always tell them:"I don't like to eat desserts". What a liar I am.

Crampy Leg is Killing Me!

When I am in school, I have a friend who will always have leg cramps when she run long distance. I wonder why she always have leg cramps and can see that she is in great pain.
After I am confirmed diabetic type 1, I experienced lots of leg cramps. It always happen in the middle of the night or when I was about to wake up. Just a few nights ago, I experienced leg cramps and all I know is I am in excruciating pain! Everytime when I experience leg cramps, I just wanted to shout for help but I cannot. I do not want to disturb my family members. The pull of the muscles of my leg will usually last for almost 5 minutes. It's so painful even for me to sit up properly and I cannot even straighten my legs because it is so painful!
Maybe my tolerance level of pain is still low but whenever I experience leg cramps, I just feel like crying out loud or simply just kill me!
At least what I can do now is to make sure my sugar level is controlled and not to stretch myself whenever I am about to wake up. Because that is always the time that I will have those nasty cramps.

Finally Mooncake

It's been almost 10 years since I last tasted mooncakes. Not that I am a big fan of mooncake but on Mid Autumn Festival, other than carrying lantern (which I am too old for that), eating mooncake will let you have the festive mood.

Mooncakes are sort of "unhealthy" food because of its ingredients. Lotus paste has high sugar content. Egg yolk will lead to high cholestrol. Eating too much of mooncake, I think, is not really healthy for old folks and of cause for me. I read an article this year on sugar-less mooncake. Am determind to get it this year.

Yesterday went to get a box of sugar-less mooncake. Will the mooncake taste blend since it is sugar-less? Nope, in fact not. They have added this ingredient called Maltitol to replace sugar when making this mooncake. Therefore, though it is called sugar-less, there is a certain amount of "sweetness" in the mooncake. According to the salesgirl, this mooncake has been recognised with the 'Healthier Choice' tick. Furthermore, the health authorities has approved that it is suitable for diabetic patients.

Today is Mid Autumn Festival. Yeah! I finally have the chance to eat mooncake. Before I enjoy the mooncake for breakfast, I have to ensure that it will not raise my sugar level. So, today I must take my blood test. These are my readings:

Before mooncake: 8.3 mmol

2 hours after mooncake: 7.4 mmol

5 hours after mooncake: 6.4 mmol

Ok, seems like the mooncake is really safe for my consumption. It did not really cause my sugar level to go sky high. Of course I still need to watch out and not eat too many.

Mooncake with 5 grains

Sugar-less mooncake

Something which I have to mention because of this mooncake. After my 2 hours test, I went out with my mom. Around noon time, she wanted to take vegetarian lunch. So we went to a vegetarian restaurant. Since I need to monitor the effects of my insulin on the mooncake, I decided to delay my lunch. Did not bring my meter out and furthermore, even if I bring, it is not convenient for me to take it out and test blood. Hence, I can only do it when I am back home. So, by the time I reach home and take my test, it is already 2.30pm. It's a late lunch all because of the mooncake.

Cheesecake & Me

Eversince I tried the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaves Chicago Cheesecake, I have fallen in love with it. There is a concern here......aren't cheesecake super sweet? Well, I think it is sweet. I first tried it when it was winter in Shanghai. Apparently, when I tested my blood sugar after eating the cheesecake, my blood sugar did not go sky high! Phew! What a relief. In fact, whenever I go winter countries, my blood sugar will always go low. That means, I will have more hypos eventhough I eat the same amount of food and injecting the same amount of insulin.
When I came back to Singapore, I will still buy cheesecake to eat whenever I am unhappy with my work. Seems like the cheesecake would be able to make me feel better. Recently, my friend got me Chicago cheesecake. I took my test 2 hours later and seems like my sugar level is quite all right. However, to my horror, the next sugar test actually shot up real high! Guess the reaction of cheesecake to my sugar level is slow. Because of this, I need to monitor my blood sugar consistently for these few days to make sure it does not go roller coaster ride.
After I was diagnosed with diabetes, I have not been able to eat any birthday cake at all. I can only blow out candles, make a wish and cut the cake. The cake never went into my stomach. My birthday is coming. This time round, maybe I will treat myself again to half a slice of Chicago cheesecake :)

Diving and Diabetes

Have always been wanting to try diving. Mid of this year, I signed up with some friends for diving lessons. Wanted to see how the underwater world is like.
One thing that I forgot to do before signing up is to check with my doctor if a diabetic can dive. I happily signed up for the lessons, made my payment and looking forward to my first dive @ Tioman this September.
There will be 1 theory and 1 practical lesson at the pool before going for open sea dive. I attended the first lesson on Monday after work. In one of the videos that the school played, it talked about decompression sickness.
What is decompression sickness?
Decompression sickness (DCS), the diver’s disease, the bends, or caisson disease is the name given to a variety of symptoms suffered by a person exposed to a decrease (nearly always after a big increase) in the pressure around the body.The body must adapt to the pressure following a rapid ascent. It is a type of diving hazard.
What are the symptoms?
If you check into the website, you can find alot. Just to name some: Headache, spots in visual field, tunnel vision, double vision, or blurry vision, unexplained extreme fatigue or behaviour changes, seizures, dizziness, vertigo, nausea, vomiting and unconsciousness may occur, mainly due to labyrinthitis, Shortness of breath
Well,some of these symptoms are quite similar to hypos when it kicks in for diabetic patients. Whenever I have hypos, I will be short of breath, palpitations, blurry vision and dizziness.
At this stage, I start to worry if I am able to continue with the open sea dive. The urge for me to check with my doctor is even stronger when I was signing the medical declaration forms. In the form, it actually states that if "potential" divers are suffering from one of the medical condition listed (which diabetes is one of them), medical doctor's approval must be obtained.
The next day, I frantically tried to contact my doctor to seek for her advice if I should continue with my dive. From her reply, it seems like I can still carry on with my dive. In her email, she also attached a few websites for me to read through.

http://www.diabetesmonitor.com/b382.htm
http://www.ukdiving.co.uk/information/medicine/diabetes.htm
http://www.diversalertnetwork.org/news/Article.aspx?newsid=741
http://www.bsac.org/page/130/diabetes-and-diving.htm

Quickly read through the articles and in general, for diabetic to dive, we must make sure that we satisfy the following:

The BSAC Medical Committee has decided that diabetics may be allowed to dive provided that they are able to pass the standard BSAC medical examination and in addition, satisfy the following criteria:
1. The diabetic has not experienced any hypoglycaemic attack within the last year.
2. The diabetic has not been hospitalised for any reason connected with diabetes in the last year.
3. The physician in charge of the diabetic at the diabetic clinic must consider the level of control to be satisfactory. This implies that the long-term control of the diabetic condition must be good. A guide to this may be obtained from the HbA or fructosamine level. The physician must also be able to state that he/she considers the potential diabetic diver to be mentally and physically fit to undertake the sport of diving.
4. There must be no microalbuminuria present. Any degree of retinopathy beyond background retinopathy is not allowed. There must be no evidence of neuropathy (sensory, motor or automatic), nor of vascular or microvascular disease beyond the background retinopathy in the eye.

Well, for me, I have already failed the 1st requirement. I have been having on and off hypos and sometimes I will even have hypers. Should say that my sugar level is like a roller coaster and needs constant monitoring. What I worry is the danger posed for me as a diabetic. Secondly, I need constant monitoring of my sugar level before and after every dive. My dive buddies are not diabetic and as I have mentioned, I still do not have the courage to let people know I am diabetic. Guess they will freak out when they see me poking myself and injecting myself with insulin. Furthermore, they might not know what to react if hypos really kicks in for me. Thirdly, my mom was worried when I told her I wanted to go dive. So, by not going diving, she will be less worried. With all these considerations, I finally decided to cancel my dive lessons.
Next thing I have to worry about is the refund of fees that I have paid in full. I have paid S$550 in total for the lessons plus dive. Not sure will they refund me in full or 2/3 of it. Contacted them 2 days ago and finally confirmed that they will do a full refund to me since I have medical condition. Phew!

It is really hard for me to lead a normal life like any other people without going through the poking and injections. Sometimes when I need to travel overseas, I feel myself like a criminal because I am worried that when my bag goes through the checks, they will detect my needles and they will take it out and question me. That will be the most embarassing moment if my friends/colleagues are with me! I will have a huge bag when I need to carry my un-used insulin around in a chilled box. It is so inconvenient but no choice have to carry it up to the plane for chilling. A lot of inconvenience for me and I will feel so miserable when I remember myself as a diabetic.

Welcome to "I Am Type 1"

What is "I Am Type 1" all about?
It's all about how me, as a type 1 diabetic patient and insulin dependent, cope with my daily life, daily happenings, etc.
Frankly speaking, after 10 years of being a Type 1 insulin dependent patient, I am still exploring and learning how to adjust being a good diabetic patient. There are still many things I need to know what diabetic patient can do and what I cannot do.
It's still a learning process for me and I am here to share my experiences.