What Is My #1 Fear For Diabetes?

Few months ago, my friend asked me this question: What is your greatest fear for diabetes?
It's not the physcial pain of injection or blood testing. It's not the extra medical bills that I need to foot. My fear is the complications that one might have because of uncontrolled diabetes.
Many complications might happen if there is no good control of diabetes. To me, the most scary one will be kidney failure. Kidney failure patients need to go for dialysis every week and the medical bills for each dialysis is not cheap. Futuremore, it will disrupt one's work. It's complicated. Therefore, I tell myself I must make sure I eat well and make sure that I do not have hypers or so many hypos.
So coincidental, my doctor also asked me the same question when I go for my last consultation. Told her exactly how I feel.

The last consultation, my HbA1c has been average, 6.8%. 2 problems that doctor noticed:
(1) I do not record my readings -> I really do not like to record down. Don't know why. Think I need lots of discipline.
(2) I do not gain weight and I am always conservative on my food. What is conservative? That means, eat only food that I consider safe or rather, which do not increase my blood glucose level --> Not a big fan of food. The saying goes: I do not eat for the sake of food but I eat for the sake of living. So, my food consumption can be boring. Of course once in a while, I will have cravings for unhealthy food like crackers or raisin biscuits but I limit myself to these food.

When my friends are having desserts, I need to reject it. So they thought I am so health conscious and that is why I am so skinny. However, they do not know the struggle in me. How much I wanted to eat dessert with them but I cannot. I have to always tell them:"I don't like to eat desserts". What a liar I am.