Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Believing in Your Faith?

No one in my family line is diabetic. When I was diagnosed in 1998, my parents kept asking themselves why I have this illness when no one else in the family has it. Well, not only they are the ones asking. I also asked myself:"Why?". My first doctor is not able to answer that. He told me Type 1 is not genetic. It so happened that some bad cells in my body attacked my pancreas and somehow, my pancreas stopped functioning as it is supposed to. All I know is I need to make friends with needles and insulin for the rest of my life. So far, there is no medical treatment that can fully cure this disease.
My family believes in Taoism and I have been following my parents. Eversince I am a confirmed diabetic, I started to doubt my religion. Question in my mind:"I pray to GOD, issn't GOD supposed to take care of my well being? Why am I down with an incurable disease?" In the past, I do not go to church or attend any Christian gatherings but this time round, I actually volunteered follow my cousin to her church. Went cell group with my colleague, all with the hope of finding some answers from their GOD.
At that point of time, I just wanted to be rebellious and switch my faith. However, I failed because I cannot put myself to believe in any GOD.
10 years down the road, I am still where I am. This time round, I still go to temples but for the sake of my parents. At least make them feel better. Deep down in my heart, I know the answer. It all lies in ME.

Coincidentally, a few years later, my cousin (my maternal side) was also diagnosed as Type 1 diabetic patient! He has 7 siblings and he is the only unlucky one. For him, he need to inject himself twice a day (for me, its thrice a day). Heard from my mom that is also trying some other ways (other than injection) just to hoping that it will make his condition better.

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